Memoir (10/23/14)

Think about all of the things that you sacrifice. All of the things that you want, for everything that you need. Is that what is the root of my unhappiness? Of all of our unhappiness? We protect those that we think need our guidance, yet neglect and abandon those that actually need it. Our company, our grace, our happiness, for some people, is enough to make them happy yet we are soaked in a bath of self loathing that we can't allow them that happiness through our own. We possess all of the power to turn the switch on and do what is right for our own self preservation, the same reason that we believe we should keep it off for, yet we do not tap into it so that we can feel driven to continue living in misery. Misery loves company and it is in our deepest desire to stay surrounded. However, there is a clause, misery begets misery. By surrounding ourselves with people like ourselves, we push ourselves deeper into the abyss of darkness that becomes more difficult to recover from. Truth is, I've experienced the resolution to my problem and it comes from the thing that I've been running from most, love. Why run from the one thing that brings joy? The reason is that joy doesn't allow me to be as miserable as I've become accustomed to being. I've felt so lonely that I don't even welcome myself as company. I leave myself desperate in a pool of thoughts that only brings more questions, more doubts that I can feel happiness once more. Recently, I rediscovered letters written to me from people that have encountered the old me, the me that was happy and it gives me a glimpse of hope that I can return to that. But what amount of effort will it take? I would have to do a complete transformation. Change the people I hang around, my habits, my thought process...literally everything. From a logical standpoint, that is not a bad thing. I cling to my "brother" in hopes that we can find peace together. Truthfully, we were doomed from the beginning. I take a look at the shows that I take an interest in and from those lenses, it only confirms that with each other, we may never find solace. Supernatural, Vampire Diaries and The Originals are three shows that displays true brotherhood, blood bonds that run deeper than any friendship imaginable. Yet with each bond that the characters of these shows possess, there is only momentary happiness. They feed off of each other to create times of great success, just to be followed by moments of strife, struggle and more unhappiness. Then there is Sons of Anarchy, a crew or band of brothers. They have each others back no matter what, yet in due time, all that follows is death, or worse, misery. Living with knowing that as long as they keep each others back, the cycle will happen again and again, becoming even harder to cope with, until you turn off your humanity to the point that everything becomes numb and you no longer care. I will get to the bottom of figuring out how I can return to happiness. There was my great love, Bianca, the reason I realized how miserable I actually was...the main reason I want my happiness to return. Until then, I will not find anything similar. Join me friends, in my pursuit to attain happiness. However, I will need ti learn to gain it with the company that I've created and the company that I need.= to be better. Looking forward to better days. In memory of the happy, old Gary Forward. Signed, G-Raxxx

"]["emple Eats

Coming in the next few weeks will be the first installment of my new blog page entitled "]["emple Eats. It will encompass pictures and descriptions of bodegas and eateries around campus. It will let everyone know where they can find good meals for cheap. My associates and I will do our best to cover every food truck around campus and also the stores on campus so that when you're here at Temple University, you'll know where to go to eat good! G-Rawww